Christmas Time Is Here...

I love Christmas lights, they're one of my favorite things in the world. I love putting them up, even when it's not Christmas. I like seeing my design all lit up for the first time. I like to see what other people on the street do. I like how they make a simple trip to the store just a little better when I pass a lighted house.

I like how they can turn night into virtual day. I like to go out to neighborhoods, especially here where there's lots of subdivisions, and see all the pretty lighted houses. I'd love to be in a competition. I love going to the lighted things where you pay a fee and drive through miles of elaborate light displays while Christmas music plays. I miss that actually. Back in New York there was one only an hour away. It was great, my parents and I would go down and go out to dinner and then go over and do the drive. A lot of the displays moved, like reindeer jumping over the road. Well, the displays themselves didn't move, but had the illusion there of. Then after you could go to this indian museum free, and it was awesome. They had a thing about the indians, of course, and Christmas around the world, and had a guy playing Santa and a old indian village all set up, with the church and stables and where they ate and lived and a big bonfire out in the center court, and the turrets where they guarded the place. It was very cool. Down here there is one nearby, but it's really expensive. I don't understand why. It'd be worth it if you took a big van full of people, but when it's just three or less, then it's not worth it.

The Worst Store In The World

It's that time of year. Snow, deer, lots of lights and baked goods. Small children dreaming of sugar plums and Santa. With all the cheer of the holiday season there is of course, one downfall, well, other than the relatives fighting, the christmas tree fires, and the weight gain from all the goodies. One tops them all, Christmas shopping. The bane of our existance, or at least mine. First there is the task of figuring out everyone you need to buy gifts for, friends, family, and co-workers. Not to mention arranging for any surprise gifting from neighbors. I suggest 2 or 3 stockpiled gifts, and make sure it's something you'll use, just incase you're stuck with it. A food gift basket is a great idea. Sure, you could always regift, but that's not an option you want to bank on, and should be used as a last resort.

Then there's determining how to get the gifts, you could go homemade, with cookies, candies, and quilts. You could go semi-homemade, pick a theme, pick a basket and fill it accordingly, some great ones here are movie night (made great with popcorn, movie style candy, and gift cards to pizza places or blockbuster.), South of The Border (mini pinata's, gold coins, spicy sauces, various types of rice and beans), Italian (fresh made pasta's wrapped in cellophane with pretty bows, jars of pasta sauce, bread dough mix.) You could buy premade gift baskets, or other store merchandise.

If you choose this last route you must then go to the store, which is a journey itself. I have some tips. Tip #1 Pack water, and crackers, you never know when you'll be able to stop for sustenance, or the price when you do. You're better off bringing your own than being a victim of price gouging just because your mouth feels like a dirty gym sock, and your stomach's about to stage mutiny. Tip #2 Don't go shopping on Black Friday if you can avoid it. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving, notorious for it's specials, sales, deals, oh yeah, also traffic accidents, pick-pocketing, shoplifting, and lines three miles long. They even start at two am. Tip #3 Avoid Walmart at all costs. It'll only serve to give you a headache. No parking spaces, long lines, screaming kids, it's my version of hell.

The one thing that always amazes me while shopping at this time of year, are the kids. They behave horribly, that's not really the surprise. The surprise is that the parents can't control them. That's just bad parenting. They need to teach their children ahead of time, or if all else fails, threaten them. "Santa won't come if you don't stop it right now and sit quietly in the cart Bobby!"

Kids Today, With Their Crazy Fashion "Sense"

I hate to say it, because it makes me sound old, but kids wear some crazy shit in this day and age, and in public too. That just makes it worse! Sure, most of the time I like the adult looking stuff for cute kids, but I'm talking pre-teens emulating Christina Aguilera circa "Dirty" here.

For instance, last night at a certain local, large, blue super center, I saw a girl. She couldn't have been more than 15. She was wearing.... Pajama bottoms, the pant kind, pink with some kind of print; a pink tank top that barely came below her chest; a navel piercing; and what appeared to be a faux suede winter jacket with sheepswool lining. Picture that if you will.

It was the only time I ever openly stared at a person's attire, well aside from the characters dressed up in theme parks. This counts Halloween as well. It was atrocious. Even worse, I believe she caught me staring, and what did she do? She laughed. SHE WAS AMUSED! It's not funny to look like a cheap underage hooker little girl, because that's exactly what you looked like. You looked like it was 3 A.M. and you were just coming from a job, stopping off to get milk, and maybe donuts on the way home.

I don't understand the preteens' obsession with looking like a little tramp. I really don't. There are better ways to look cute, and flirty, and even sexy. And contrary to Cher in Clueless, you don't need to show that much skin. That is just ridiculous. Who's to blame? The media? The popstars? The clothing companies? NO. I say the mother and the father. They should put their foot down. Either don't buy the clothes, or don't let them out of the house wearing it. The worst part is the girl was with her mother.