A Baby Shower And The Resulting Epihany

So last week I opened my mail box to discover a envelope with my aunt's address on it. Upon opening it I was greeted by a bold "It's a girl!" I had recieved an invitation to my cousin's baby shower. The second baby shower of my adult life. This brought about torn feelings, because I can't really afford to travel back north for it, but I want to show my support, after all, this cousin is more like a sister. At first I wondered why they'd bothered at all, but I guess they were just being polite. So I decided one polite turn deserved another and I would buy a gift, and send it to her. Herein, lies the problem, I adore baby stuff. Seeing all the little tiny clothes and cute sayings and cute little animals, I could buy everything. Despite the fact I'm not a big fan of most kids and don't really intend to have children.

So, on the invitation it said the theme is Precious Moments. So I went to the local Walmart (as the invitation said she was registered there, so they have to have Precious Moments.) I found the baby section and began browsing. First of all, has it ever occured to them to make the aisles wider? There are pregnant hormonal women wandering those aisles with carts, that's like giving them a weapon and a reason to hit people. That's not the point though. At first I figured I'd get a bib, I love bibs, they're so cute, and serve a good purpose. I wish it were still socially acceptable to wear a bib other than the plastic lobster one provided at your fancier restraunts. So I went looking for a bib. I didn't find anything I really liked or any Precious Moments for that matter.

So I happened down the next row, where I found items featuring Care Bears. Being a child of the 80's I was sorely tempted to share this with my new, second cousin I guess. I figured her mother would understand, since she was born only a year after me. However, upon seeing the obscene prices, I refrained. In the next row I happened upon a shelf of clearance items, where what should I find but a mighty expensive Precious Moments set, marked down to my price range. Joyfully I selected the one I most liked (a green and yellow number with a bib, two bottles, and a stuffed figure.)

Before leaving the area I decided to browse a little more. A few rows over I found the classic primary colored toys. I immediately located Baby's First Keys, a neccesary item as any well respected baby will tell you, and snatched them up. The next row over I found what, in my subconcious, I had been looking for. It was a teething apparatus that closely resembled the one I had owned as a child. The price was good, and even though the baby isn't even born yet, I knew I had to buy it. Why? Because I loved mine. I still have it.

Maybe it's because when I was young, and in teething pain, that being given to me would sooth me. This must have become ingrained in me early on, as now, when I'm distraught, I have the urge to chew on something cold, and frozen, like ice chips. or sometimes, I admit it, my old teething ring.